Descartes says, “I think, therefore I am.” Cogito ergo sum.
So I think and I think and I think. I think about and dwell upon the the same idea for weeks. The organization is coming together. Yes, a few problems here and there, but I think I can begin. But first, perhaps there is anyone who can help me?
All right, so let’s verbalize my ideas. Oh, but where to start…? The ideas are ideas, not pictures or words. They are in their abstract form, tethered perhaps by a word or two. But all right, I’ll do my best.
So I try structuring my main idea into question-answer form, to try to address any common questions people might have about the idea. I think about what I am writing for maybe half an hour or so, analyzing any hole or implication that may be in the writing, for any of that can jeopardize my entire idea and argument. Finally, after thorough consideration, it looks like the writing can be published and it is open for comment now.
I patiently wait. The hours pass. Sometimes, the days pass. And sometimes even, no one ever replies. Until, of course, someone responds.
The first post, naturally, is critical. I don’t know how it happens, but I’m a magnet for “rational thinkers.” Perhaps too rational, because there is no nodding; they go right ahead and begin the step of critical analysis. The answer often begins with the fatal argument, or the sentence, “I don’t see your point,” and then followed with the fatal argument.
It’s the blow to the stomach, the painful blow I always dreaded, that makes me feel horrible for a long time. My logic is flawed. I don’t think the same way as other people, and my blind spot was revealed. There goes my idea and hours of thinking about it, because it was flawed in the very end. The way it is done now, of course, turns out to be the most logical way of doing it, devised so easily and elegantly. He gets the reputation. He gets the privileges, especially the privilege of carrying out subsequent ideas without further scrutiny, except if it is blatantly wrong.
Make an electric bike? No, because you’re basically making a moped. Just buy a kit, you lazy bum.
Zero-gravity soccer? What an astoundingly dumb idea. You’re putting in so many hours on something nobody’s ever going to play.
Python on a calculator? Do you really know how bloated Python is? It takes MEGABYTES of memory just to run a simple program! Just use the scripting languages our people have already made! Oh, you don’t want to learn a new language? What a lazy inconsiderate fool.
Learn Japanese? Why, you’re never going to live in Japan! Why couldn’t you just learn some European language or continue improving your Spanish?
VCR on a tape drive? Don’t you know how much a VCR can really hold? Look, the Shannon-Hartley theorem says that even with the most optimal modulation technique, you can only hold up to about 35 GB of space on a 180-minute VCR! What a useless idea. Go take your insanity somewhere else.
Ace Attorney Online on web? It’s already being worked on! Do something else.
Steam friends crawler? Don’t you know it will take months to gather the data you need and greatly strain the Steam servers and your quota while you do so? Also that it’s a terms-of-service violation for crawling a user’s profile without their consent? With those constraints, your project is basically impossible! Sorry, all that code is for naught. Tough luck kid.
A larger E-Ink tablet? Do you know anything, anything at all about manufacturing or making hardware? Exactly! Just wait for someone else to do it for you, or you can dish out a low, low $750 compared to the amount of money it took to make this product, you inconsiderate butt.
You want to make a hex-based language? What is this stupid idea, something from a movie? Do you know anything about linguistics? I thought not. Go back to high school and play basketball or something. Go enjoy your life and get off the computer.
Er… a combat flight simulator. Look, the whole reason a good combat flight simulator hasn’t been made is because it’s really hard to make one already. Have you even made one? I thought so! Hey, maybe you should look at Unity? You what? But you haven’t even tried it! Why are you criticizing a software you haven’t even tried? No. You don’t know anything about making games. Just, no. Get off. Your opinion is completely baseless and false. Shut up. No.
CUDA parallelization for Powder Toy, huh? Have you ever used CUDA in your life? You know, we’ve tried this before. If we had succeeded, your game would be faster by now. Just get a better CPU, cheapskate.
A Yu-Gi-Oh card database? Don’t we already have one? Oh, but with more features? Eh, nobody really plays Yu-Gi-Oh anymore. Even if you made it, I wouldn’t start playing again.
A water-condensing windmill? I’m not going to even start trying to point out the flaws on that. I know you’re trying to help people, but you’re no expert. Here are some helpful textbooks to prime you on the subject.
A calculator with an E-Ink display on every button? But what’s the point?!
Another competition system for the UIL Computer Science hands-on rounds? But our system already works. And besides, what if this new one breaks or the power goes out? We’re just going to keep this old system, we’ve been using it for 10 years now and we’ve had no problems with it. Wasting paper is better than being short of it.
A meme stock market game? It’s already been done before.
There is nowhere for me to contribute. The best coders are already on the best projects. I’m stuck in school where people are dumb and yell around and have a dozen girlfriends and generally don’t give a crap about me. They just adore me because I make a good comeback and “roast” people even though it is never my intention of doing that.
Then when I go to college, it will be all backwards: everyone will be better than me and I’ll just percolate to the bottom. I’ll think I can come out on top, but I can’t. I’ll just sink, whatever was left of the support network assembled by my parents will crack like tempered glass.
The only contributive thing I’ve been doing are the tasks no one wants to do because it takes a mind-numbing amount of time; the menial stuff. Stuff like entering data into tables, sorting records, counting money, transcribing scans, tagging issues, backing things up, setting up computers.
And then I’m told to watch movies that are supposed to make me feel good – oh yeah, watch Hidden Figures, look at the depiction of people who were considered inferior simply by the color of their skin and still ended up learning Fortran and contributing to the space program. Oh yeah, watch that one other movie where that teacher gets a heart attack but still ends up teaching calculus to this class of poorly-educated kids and having them all pass. Oh, look at the realism. Look at how God makes anything possible through the vision and money of Hollywood directors.
Yeah, take pleasure by the fact that there is someone in the world who is still worse off than you are, and that you aren’t that person. Take pleasure in that you’re still not the worst of the worst, even if you are pretty down there right now.
No, stop taking everything personally. This doesn’t have anything to do with you. Maybe if you stopped taking everything personally, your blood pressure wouldn’t be so high. Why don’t you take a walk? Why don’t you meditate? Why don’t you turn off the computer for once? Why don’t you play with your brother?
Do you pray? Huh? Just like your dad. None of you do what you have to do. You know what you have to do… you just don’t do it from sheer laziness. Because of the computer. Get off the computer. Actually, you know what, don’t get off the computer. Just do whatever you want. Do whatever you want. I don’t even care anymore. Your body, your consequences. Don’t ask me for help.
Don’t you know how much money it takes to build a robot? Millions of dollars! It’s not like anyone can build a robot in their garage.
So what if I did want to make a robot? Huh? Who would help me?
That’s right, no one. They’re too busy with band or being someone else’s friend. Awww look, the poor kid is crying because he doesn’t have friends. You do have friends, it’s just that you don’t invite them or do anything with them. It’s your fault, not theirs.